Thursday, November 12, 2015

A New Adventure

When we graduated college and moved out of Utah three and a half years ago I was confident that we would never come back to live there again. Boise, Idaho welcomed us with open arms and we fell in love with this place we'd never given much thought to before. I would be so happy to stay here many more years and yet...

We are moving to Utah.

Yep.

That's happening.

Back in August we went down to Utah for a family vacation, spending time with both of our families. Bryan started to say that he was feeling like we should move back to be closer to our family. While I love both sides very dearly, I vehemently put my foot down. I didn't want to live in Utah and I never had. My life was in Boise, the cost of living was so much better here, we live close enough for an easy road trip, Bryan has such a good job... I enumerated the reasons until I was blue in the face. We finally decided we wouldn't move anywhere until we were sure we could be financially stable there.

At the beginning of October someone reached out to Bryan on LinkedIn from LDS.org. He has dreamed of working for the church since his mission when he was assigned as an Office Elder and helped them with their computers. It was there that he decided that he would study Computer Science and was excited at the thought of using that interest he already had to further the work of the Church. Coincidentally, it is through a fellow mission buddy that he was recommended to work at Clearwater, his current company. Most of the blessings in our life together stem from Bryan's mission. So, when the recruiter for the Church contacted him Bryan told them that he was very happy at his current job but that he would go ahead with the interview.

At first I thought it would probably just be a passing thing-- that I didn't have anything to worry about. In the past I have heard that the Church doesn't pay very well and we didn't want to take a step down financially so we would stay put. We figured if he did get the offer it might be just slightly higher than what we were making now to compensate for cost of living. Bryan went through a few phone interviews, an online test and a Skype interview. Each successive interview mounted my stress and my fear but I kept coming back to the salary and my love for Boise and felt mostly confident we would stay.

I really fought the idea of living in Utah tooth and nail since it has never been a place I imagined raising my family. Growing up on the East Coast, I had a totally different experience in my religious and cultural life from what my Utah born friends described. I liked what I'd had-- valued it. I did seek out the BYU college experience and wanted that but never expected to stay beyond it. I hate to really point out on this blog the reasons I was so sick about Utah itself because I have a lot of lovely friends who are wonderful people who were born and/or raised there. Lets just say that there were several cultural and religious reasons I didn't want to live there. So Bryan knew all of my concerns and had even told his recruiter about them. He was very back and forth, saying we loved where we lived and that especially his wife didn't want to leave but then he kept doing well in interviews. The recruiter had one of their employees and his wife call us so we could ask them questions. They were both specifically not from Utah and had even moved from Idaho for the job. I went into the conversation not thinking it would change my mind in the slightest but talking to them was comforting. They'd felt a lot of the same things we felt and told us how their experience had been so much better than expected. After that I felt slightly more at peace about going to Utah but I still was having a hard time leaving.

Before his final interview, Bryan's recruiter called and let him know the salary that they had decided on, should the offer be extended to us. To put it lightly, we were taken aback. It was quite a bit more than we expected from them. At that point, it seemed inevitable to me that if he did get the offer we would go. Still, after his final interview he was told there were two other people that needed to be interviewed still and that we'd know the following week. We both felt like if he got it then that would be exciting but we'd still have to make a final decision but if he didn't we would be relieved and happy to stay here. Those few days were torture.

Then, he got it. Still reeling from this. We still hadn't decided but we had until Friday to do so. We felt like it was a good opportunity to work for the church and to be near family and the salary was very tempting. We were like 99% there with the decision but... my heart wouldn't let go. I needed a spiritual confirmation that this could be right for us. Of course we had been praying and fasting about it but I still felt unsettled and our temple happened to be closed for cleaning at the time. We decided to ask to have blessings for each of us. We had our friend and member of the bishopric come over to do so and before he did he sat with us and talked through the whole situation. He himself is a seminary teacher so he does work for the church and talked a lot of his experience there and what Bryan's experience might be. How it would bless our home to have him directly serving the Lord and furthering the work. That is a spirit I cannot wait to have in my home more. During both blessings, he mentioned several things we hadn't even discussed with him that were weighing on our minds and so many things from mine touched me. One in particular that he mentioned that really touched me is that, if you'll notice with certain groups in the scriptures that God asks them to move before He performs a miracle for them. The seedlings of my true testimony as a teenager began when I felt the love of God for me personally and specifically and in this blessing that is one thing I felt strongly. God knows my heart and my trials and He will be by my side. He wants this for us and He wants to bless us. This is the direction our lives are going. We could stay in Boise, in a place we both love, but we both felt wrong about it. Like if we did it would be stagnant because our lives were meant to progress in Utah. And so... we accepted.

We are selling our home. Our beautiful, practically brand new, custom designed home that is part of my heart. I'm having a hard time because I've been looking at houses for sale in the area and price range we want and they are just not what I want. They feel like a step down from where we are now. We are looking forward to having a basement, though!!! I seriously wake up feeling antsy and anxious about packing, cleaning, listing the house, showings, etc. Bryan will start January 4th but because we are spending Christmas in Maryland with my family this year we will move temporarily into his mom's basement about mid December. There is so much to be done before then.

I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with leaving. Boise is where we first lived together as a brand new married couple. It's where Bryan got his first job, where we bought our first home, where we had our first beautiful, wonderful baby. It holds so many wonderful memories for me. I love my friends. I have a truly wonderful support system of other moms like me that I have relied so much on and they have been a balm to my soul.I love my ward and my neighborhood and my house. I even love my Ob/Gyn and the grocery store I shop at. Even the fire station I pass on the way home from Costco and the stretch of road it stands on. I. love. my. life. It is so hard to leave. But it is where we are being led and we will go.

I am excited to live there now, in a lot of ways. We will be so much closer to family! That is a big thing! I can't wait to laugh and play games and have Sunday dinner together more often. Bryan's mom loves to babysit her grandkids, which works for me. I could use a few more outings to movies or plays or, most importantly, the temple with my husband. I can't wait to take Luke to the Aquarium and the Treehouse Museum and the Museum of Natural Curiosity. I can't wait to live near IKEA!!! I will be near old friends I'd like to see more. My parents and other friends and family will be able to visit much more easily! Life will go on. I will make new, wonderful friends. I will come to love a new home and place.

I am very grateful for the love and guidance of the Lord in my life. Truly, He knows what I need better than I do. I've seen the same thing again and again in my life. I think I know what is best for myself and take steps to make it so but He tenderly leads me the way I'm meant to go. And it is always better than the path I might've taken. I'm sad to go but grateful for the opportunity to progress.

We love you all and look forward to seeing a lot  of you more often.

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