Life with Two

Well, it's been about 6 months since I last posted and, as I'm sure you can surmise, a lot has gone on in that time with a new baby. With Luke I posted fairly frequently after he was born, mostly as a therapeutic way to vent frustration about the rough initiation I was having into motherhood. This time... well, I'm not going to say its been all rainbows and unicorns but an amalgamation of things has made it easier. Therefore, less venting was needed. It helps that I had been through it before and knew what to expect to a degree. It helps that breastfeeding hasn't felt like an insurmountable trial from the beginning. More than all of these things, it helps that I was able to escape the torturous grasps of postpartum depression. Many people have a very hard time adding a second child. For many it rocks their world... but for us, it's been pretty smooth. Transitioning from no kids to one kid is what what rocked our world. Or maybe when/if we add a third that will rock our world. But one to two has been, while not easy all the time, surprisingly doable.

Now, has breastfeeding this time been a walk in the park? Uh, no. We have had a lot of challenges but somehow, miraculously, I've been able to take all of these small annoyances in stride and guess what? It's working! Our little Penny Lu is quite the particular nurser. She still only likes to be fed in the cross cradle position (rather than the classic cradle position), at home in her rocking chair without noisy distractions. Luckily I've gotten her used to eating at church (though they are never the easiest feedings because, again, noisy distractions. Turns out mom can't carry on a conversation with her friends while Penny is trying to eat) and at my parent's. But try to nurse out and about? No way. Many tears are shed-- for both parties! And a nursing cover? Forget about it. At the back of my mind for these past six months I've had the thought, "When am I going to turn into one of those pro moms who can pop her baby on, cradle position, under a cover while sitting on a bench at the park while Luke plays? When am I going to become a normal breastfeeding mom?" Lately, I've had a light bulb go off in my head as I came to the realization that it doesn't matter if I'm not doing it the way I see on TV or movies, in blogs or even in the mother's lounge. I've decided I have to embrace my normal. Who cares if she insists on the cross cradle position for the whole 12 months we'll have breastfeeding together? The point is she's doing it! She's eating! And gaining weight really well, even while only eating one side per feeding in under ten minutes. That was one of those things I used to be so worried about but she just wouldn't eat more. But now, her chunky thighs reassure me that she knows what she needs and gets it-- and somehow I'm still amazed that I'm actually providing it!

I'm really trying to live in the present. There are times when I think, "Won't it be nice when she's older and..." and I stop myself right then and there because when she's older, I'm going to be missing the exact time I'm in now! The snugly, soft, sweet baby phase. Same goes for Luke who has been extremely independent and the daily power struggles are oh, so real. He asks me a million questions a day and I get so exasperated sometimes. I try to remind myself that some day he's going to be a teenager and I'm going to want him to talk to me. I need to soak in his attention and currently being one of his favorite people. I think I thought a little sister might be one of his favorite people too but up until now he hasn't shown her much attention. He helps getting her toys and diapers and pacifiers but he doesn't try to kiss her all the time the way I've seen other older siblings doing. However, as she's getting older he interacts with her more. She adores him and cracks up whenever he says goofy nonsense words to her or even just looks directly at her. Sometimes when I need to get something done and if he will, all she needs to be entertained is for him to run circles around her.

In other Luke news, we are potty training in the loosest sense of the words. I know I need to buckle down and do it better but I am unable to give him my full attention during the week when Penny needs to be fed and put down for naps. There are stretches of time where I just can't be with him and it seems like those are always the times he has to go and has accidents in underwear. So, for now, we're in pull ups. When Bryan is home we try to do underwear so either of us is always available to him. He simply won't try to go on the potty without one of us there with him. When he does go, it is only #1. He has never gone #2 (numbering them for the easily grossed out non mothers. The rest of us talk about our kids' bowel movements with shocking ease). However, I'm not stressing about it. I know it will happen. I'm not really worried about him going off to college without being potty trained.

Penny isn't a perfect baby by any means. She doesn't like to be left alone and whines/cries/screeches to get attention. She has had separation anxiety for months. She loves me and Bryan. In that order. When anyone else, even her Grandmas, try to hold her for more than a few minutes she starts to get upset. It's sweet. And exhausting. I know it's a phase that won't last. Trying to appreciate her great love for me. But in so many ways she is also the most delightful baby with a cherubic face that just fills my heart with motherly love and affection to look at. She doesn't love rolling but she will do it and has several times. She still hates tummy time. She is a wonderful night sleeper. I am one lucky duck to be getting as much sleep at night as she's been letting me get for months now. She goes to bed roughly around 8 PM and wakes up around 6:40 AM, generally. There are anomalies on both sides (she woke up at 7:20 today-- I had to go in the make sure she was alive, Owlet and all! But she also sometimes wakes up between 4:30 and 5:30 to eat and then goes back to sleep until around 8!) I'm definitely spoiled in the baby sleep department-- Luke was much the same. When she officially turns 6 months I'll be starting her on solids and it'll be interesting to see how she likes that. We follow baby led weaning where you basically just give the baby whatever food you are eating (within reason) instead of feeding them purees. It does teach them how to feed themselves sooner but really we don't do it for any sanctimonious reasons. It's just easier and cheaper, simple as that. Luke did really well with it and I'm excited to see how she does.

We've had family gatherings and fun galore in the past six months. I'll touch on those in the hoard of pictures I'm about to unleash on you. One that I'll give a more detail to, and honestly should have written about before now, is her blessing. She was blessed as Penelope Luvera Whitney on May 7, 2017 by her dad. He blessed her to know that she was a loved daughter of God and that her "native cherry attitude" would be a benefit to those around her, among many other lovely blessings. We were able to have a lot of family and friends come to it and hosted an open house at our home afterward. My mom bought her the most gorgeous detailed, lacy blessing dress that I love and we were able to get professional pictures taken later that week.

Just this morning my friend and I were talking about blogging (I was already trying to write this post-- which I wrote in entirety before accidentally pressing back and somehow deleting the whole darn thing. In a fit of rage I finished off Luke's potty reward M&Ms, woops, and then painstakingly re-wrote it) and she said she tried to just write one post a month encompassing the whole month instead of trying to blog about every specific event. I think I'm going to try to do that. By trying to do everything I end up doing nothing, at least as far as blogging goes. And here are some of our favorite pictures from the last six months:

Exhausted

Funny onseie I got at my OB/Gyn at my 6 week check up. She was actually not delivered by my doctor, Dr. Wilson, since she came on a weekend,. 

Some of her first smiles

This never happens.

Family Pictures March 2017

Easter Fun!

One of my very favorite parts of having a baby

May the 4th be with you!

Wonderful, beautiful new minivan that I <3<3<3

Baby Animal Days in Morgan

Beautiful blessing pictures

Happy Father's Day!

4th of July Bike Parade!

These two little cousins were the best of friends for about a week and were so sad to say goodbye.

This is what my days look like. But lets be honest, it's not always smiles. However, I love being able to stay home with these beautiful children!

Holding the baby is not quite the same as it used to be for Luke... He complained because she drooled on him and kept trying to touch his face. She was in heaven. She loves when her brother pays attention to her.

Luke trying on his dad's old glasses