Dear, Sweet Libby

Copyright © 2011 Brian G. Rudd Photography ALL RIGHTS RESERVED (http://briangrudd.com)

Today has been a very sad day for me. Libby, my sweet cat, had to be put to sleep. She had been losing a lot of weight and wasn't eating much at all. Lindsay said that it became drastically noticeable within the last couple of weeks just how much weight she had lost. My mom took her to the vet today and he found that she had stomach cancer. He said that the tumor was about the size of a plum. I was very distraught but knew that she needed to be put to sleep because she was in a lot of pain.

When I was eleven years old I wanted a kitten of my own so badly. My parents decided that if I saved up my money I could buy one from the Humane Society. $50 was a lot for a little kid but I was able to do it through chores and odd jobs. Thirteen years ago this summer I picked out a little calico cat that I could hold in one hand. I named her Libby because that was a name of a character on a TV show I liked at the time. I was probably more rough with her when I was younger than I ought to have been. I know I must have dressed her up in doll clothes at least once. Libby endured it but remained a sweet cat. She became the friendliest, most personable cat I know.

Libby, unlike many cats, would always come when I called her. I would put down my hand and she knew exactly what that meant, for she would come and put her head right beneath it. Sometimes I would bring her into my room and put her on my bed and she'd fall asleep there with me but I had to leave my door cracked else she'd jump onto my nightstand in the middle of the night, knocking things over so I would let her out!

I've always bragged about how smart Libby was. Sometimes people might leave the basement door open and she'd saunter downstairs, only to find that someone would close the door behind her! She would just come to the top of the stairs and stick her paw up under the little gap between the floor and the bottom of the door. Then, as much as a cat can, she grasped the door and shook it until someone came and let her out.

Libby loved to be outdoors. We have a bit of a forest behind our house and she loved being out exploring or lazing about on the grass in the warm sun. If she caught site of you taking a walk you might even notice her trailing you from several feet away! She certainly loved people.

This photo was taken when I was fifteen or sixteen years old:
I went to college and had to leave Libby behind in Maryland with my parents. Apartments in Provo, for the most part, are not very keen on allowing pets. I feel so sad at having had to leave her. I feel sad that I couldn't be more a part of her life during her last days. I hope she remembers me always and knows that I love her very much.


The last time I saw Libby was during the days before and on my wedding day. I remember that every time I came home for a visit and she was out in the driveway I would scoop her up and pet her and hug her and kiss her on the head. Though preoccupied with my wedding, I am at least certain I was able to give her this love for the last time. She loved having so many people around for this event and especially brought joy to little children. A couple days before the wedding my parents invited all of Bryan's family over for a barbecue. They had just arrived that day and no one was more exhausted than poor Ella, who cried a fair amount. Her dad took her outside and she cheered right up when she saw Libby, exclaiming, "Ki-ee!" Ava also loved seeing Libby, and would crack up when she got the opportunity to pet her. Here is a picture Lindsay sent me today of Ava petting Libby:
And Ava's reaction:
Seeing these today brought peace to my heart for Libby because of how happy she made people and how many people loved her.

I had an inkling that something was going on because Lindsay texted me and told me that Libby was skinnier than ever and that my mom was going to take her to the vet. So, my mom called me this morning and told me what the vet had found and that she needed to be put to sleep. I cried on and off all day because Libby was more than just some animal to me. She'd been in my life for more than half of it! She was a part of my family and it hurts knowing I'll never be able to hold her close to me and kiss her head again. It is still hard to believe she is gone.

I asked my mom to take one last picture of her before she was put to sleep so that I could see her one last time. She sent me this:
It hurt to see how thin and sickly she had become but at least I got to see her one last time, even if it was through picture message.

Mom stayed with her while they put her to sleep and held her in her arms as she drifted off. I asked if they would bury her in the backyard so that I could go to her grave and say goodbye the next time I am in Maryland. They did so-- my dad even left work especially to come home to help with it. Here are some photos Lindsay sent me:
She is at rest, looking peaceful and much healthier than before.
My heart aches at the look on my mom's face. I think I've worn that expression many times today. I think everyone realized they were even more attached to her than they had thought.
After the burial, they said a little prayer. It seems she was laid to rest in a beautiful spot. I miss her so much now. I just wish I could have been there for her. Even though I haven't been able to be near her I knew I could see her again when I visited back home but now that is gone. My consolation is this:
Maybe this sounds corny, but Heaven seems to be smiling down on her. I know that one day I will see Libby again. I like to think that she is so happy in Heaven, much happier than she was here on earth. Maybe my grandparents are up there looking after her for me. And maybe, just maybe, she can look down on me and know how much I loved her. Libby, you are so loved.